Arlack Stew, 30 years of slow cooking! (Part 3)


There I was, distraught. Jeanette was the first person I think I really loved. And I screwed it up. I got into a couple of other…not so good relationships. And as expected, or more likely because expected, things did not go well with those either.There were some things going on with Todd and Sabrina, and I opted to move out. Though I don’t recall my reasons exactly. I wound up moving in with another friend of mine. Roger, and his girl Amanda. That didn’t last very long, as I had developed feelings for her. >.> Fortunately I had grown up enough to leave it alone. Shortly after I distanced myself from her I decided it was time to pursue a relationship that, at the time I first met her, had no chance of happening. One of Sabrina, and Lisa’s best friends, Tori. The reason I did not make a move, even though I was interested in her more then the rest of Sabrina’s clique was because she was walled off. At that time I had felt about as low as I had ever, and thought I had no chance with her. But, I was older now, and had a bit more self confidence, I decided, I don’t “need” to be with anyone, I was okay alone. And my life could continue that way. But she was one of my best friends, and I wanted more.

So, I convinced one of my best friends, Randy, to take me out to hang with her, as I didn’t have a car, and both of us were single, so we had more “freedom” to run around and do whatever. *laugh* Even though it was a good 20-30 minute drive one way, we went out regularly. And as our relationship grew, things were odd. Her best friends sister Jamie and I had a bit of a thing for each other as well, so for a time I was heavily flirting with the both of them. And, please don’t yell at me for being “that guy”, they both knew, because it was mostly all 3 of us together. By this point Randy was hanging out with one of his Ex’s Carrie again, and I was mostly staying out with Tori and her friends.

After a while I had gathered enough courage to express my feelings for her, and was pleasantly surprised she felt the same way. We became “boyfriend/girlfriend”. She was great for me, helping me realize that I did have something to offer someone else. Our relationship kept growing. She eventually moved in with me at Roger and Amanda’s. We became intimate, and the floodgates opened. Not often have I seen a males drive lower then a girls. *laugh* After a while we moved in with another friend. And by now I had completely fallen in love with her. I did not want a future without her. I wanted to ask her to be my wife, but I was to terrified that she would say no, or that I would screw things up and ruin it all. So I kept that bit to myself for a while.

We then received news that neither of us saw coming, a reality that would crush the world we had. With no signs at all, we found out she was pregnant, and rather far along. Both of us freaked out. We had no warnings, no missed cycles, no “belly bulge, no nausea or cravings. Our families were not as supporting as they could have been, demanding we do this, and that, and name our child what they wanted.

After many conversations about our future, I came to realize she felt the same for me as I did for her. And because I wanted to make sure she knew how much I loved her, I proposed to her. Though, because I am not the kind of guy to do the “normal” thing, I did not go about it with the whole “bent knee” thing. Could not even afford a ring at the time. She nearly slapped me for the way I did it, and some of her friends did! *laugh* I walked into our bedroom, and with a serious look on my face, I looked her in the eyes and told her the truth. “Babe, I’ve decided I no longer want to be your boyfriend. *pause* (If you hear her tell it, the pause lasted for minutes) I want to be your husband! *smile* Will you marry me?” She said yes!

Then, as if the shocks to our life were not enough already, one evening while playing D&D with our roommate, she “wet herself” Being the calm guy I am, I told them both we had to head to the emergency room, that her water had broken. She tried to deny it, saying she didn’t really feel anything. But I insisted, sure enough it had.

While we were at the hospital  in a private room, the nurses said she and the baby were okay, and they wanted to keep an eye on things. Having a need to bathe, I stepped into the bath, an alarm went off, and the nurses burst into the room, the babies umbilical cord was pinched, and they had to take it via cesarean right away! As they took her away to take care of her and our child, I quickly got out of the tub and dressed. They had me put scrubs over my clothes and sat me outside the operating room. Told me after they got her situated I would be allowed to go in and be with her. So…the calmest I had ever been in my life, I sat there. Now, at that time I had a kinda nerves leg movement that I did when I was agitated, bored and whatnot. Nothing, I was completely calm. And I sat, and sat, then the doctor that rescued my child, came out and informed me that my son was fine, and Tori was as well. But her throat was too small for the breathing tube they had, and they had too much to deal with to come and let me be with her.

Our son was born 7 weeks early, and spent that time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. As we had almost one month of warning that we were even having a child, there was no name chosen. So, we named him after me. Not a “jr”, we made him a “second” *laugh* I am proud of my name, not as much at the time, but even then I was a bit. As I am named after my grandfather. one of the most important people in my life. Though I didn’t understand it at the time, he taught me to be a man. He taught me about honor, duty, and responsibility. My second favorite quote from him, “If you are going to do something at all, do it right” and he insisted at all times that I keep to that.

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